MY LIFE. MY CHOICE.
I made a choice.
The hardest and awkward choice when resigned from a steady job and not worked for two years.
The half-hearted choice I went through later became a miracle. The English school in Surabaya, which was originally not a serious choice, brought me to work in Bali. Then the experience of working in Bali brought me further into the Caribbean. Living and working abroad.
Time goes by without waiting for anyone.
Ten years later I felt it was time for me to do something else. I had to do something I longed for.
I reluctant to do the monotonous work that once brought a sense of security.
The choice once good and right, then no longer appealing.
For some people I am a strange person. They did not comprehend why decided to do different things. Many people were struggling to get to my position. Why should I look for something uncertain.
Things never lasts.
The once extraordinary choice diminished its appeal. Nothing lasts in real life. Life spins like a wheel for every second.
Desires and dreams change over time.
The choice of being a child psychologist turned me into a world citizen. Worked in a beautiful and unique place. Adventure in places that once was a childhood dream.
Try new things.
Experiencing adventures that used to be when I was little I read from a magazines and watched it on TV.
Thrilling and challenging.
Everyone has a different experience. Often times I compare experiences with others. I am grateful to learn from others’ experiences. I read their lives abroad.
How fun to work and travel.
Live among strangers and exchange cultures.
Behind it all, I feel sorry and scare reading and hearing sad stories. Not always work abroad to bring good fortune and pleasures.
All of that became a positive trigger for me.
It depends on how I put myself in all situations. When others intimidated me by saying how hard it was to live abroad…
…I visualized how to make my life wonderful and successful.
I remember some people once said “Wishing the best and prepared for the worst”. Hoping for something good to happen is easy. But it’s hard to be prepared for a bad thing. My most intense collision is to face fear.
Fear to face the consequences of every action. The fear of facing a situation I had never experienced before.
A close friend told me why I wanted to do something else. I am not young anymore. I am well established and already living comfortably. Why did I want to move department with new position? Our conversations made me more doubtful and afraid.
I was afraid if it turned out my choice was the wrong choice. I did not want to lose a good job. Safety as a warm blanket. I was wrapped tight. The cocoon made me gasp and stifling.
I wanted to develop my potentials and observe another world. Wandering to places I’ve never seen before. Likewise do something I have never done before.
Fear is always there.
Fear is also good.
Encourage me to really consider all decisions.
All sides I examine so that I am not surprised or disappointed if it does not happen.
I am more scared when I reach old age and then realize the loss of something important in my life.
Not developing my talents.
Not experiencing a unique life.
I’m more afraid of not knowing where my skills are.
No longer feel the sensation of new experiences and the vibrations of something new.
It was this fear that prompted me to make the choices I had been doing.
As a person who used to fall and back again, feeling bitter and sad is a familiar thing. In fact when all goes well, it seems less challenge and bored with the situation that no longer challenging.
There is no better thing than a strong conviction that I am capable of doing all my desires. By wholeheartedly doing well and rightly. If I wished and hoped for something to fall from the sky, I would always be in the same place.
Everything will certainly be fine.
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